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The Last Stand
How many times has
Arnold Schwarzenegger said he’d be back? Many times. It started
when that famous line was spoken in the original Terminator film, but
who knew it would become his calling card? Arnie would work in “I’ll
be back”, or some version of it, into almost every action film post
Terminator. It would even become the influence for how he would
manage his movie career. The first case of this was when Arnie took a
two year break from movies after having open heart surgery in the
late 90’s. His comeback film that time was “End of Days”, where
he battled the Devil on the cusp of the millennium. He pumped out a
couple more standard action films after that, but was at risk of
fizzling out, until he finally agreed to do another Terminator film.
He was back… again, leading “Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines”
with good results.
Then, in a surprise
turn, Arnie walked away from movies and into politics, succeeding in
his mission of becoming the Governor of California. Soon enough, he
was given the nickname The Governator, and for eight years, Arnold
“gave back” to California, the state that had been so good to him
when he landed on its golden beaches thirty years earlier. He’d
succeeded in almost every goal or area of his life to date – Mr.
Universe winner seven times over, biggest movie stat of all time and
now, politician. What would be next? The Presidency? If Arnie could
change the laws, allowing non-American born people to run for
President, it might just happen. But it turns out, Arnie’s
political ambitions didn’t pay off the way California needed them
to, and he did not return for a third term in 2011. Keeping pretty
quiet for about a year, Arnie released a press statement telling the
world to expect a big announcement real soon. Would it be a return to
the movies? Another crack at politics? No - it would be the
confession that he was disloyal to his wife of twenty-five years, and
impregnated one of his maids. From then on, the world saw the
Austrian Oak in a whole different light. He lost a lot of respect and
many fans walked away. So what is a multi-millionaire, self-made
entrepreneur to do when his life pretty much falls apart… go back
to the movies of course.
Showing up in “The
Expendables 2” in a supporting role, Arnie got back to work.
Announcing a slew of new film projects to hit screens over the next
couple of years. The first would be “The Last Stand”. A clever
title when you think of it, because after being the biggest movie
star in the world for so long, followed by a failed jump into
politics and a move back to the industry which made him so famous,
Arnie would surely be making his own last stand and hoping for the
best. Would the world want to see a 65 year old former action start
and politician back on the silver screen? Sure, why not? Despite the
naughty behaviours of his personal life that have split his fan base
right down the middle like a sharp knife, Arnie’s truest fans would
turn out and watch him strut his stuff once more. That’s what I
did, in the company of my good mates who are all long-running Arnie
fans like myself since we were kids. We don’t care what kind of man
he is in real life; we see his movies to watch him shoot people and
blow shit up!
So what is “The Last
Stand” actually about? If you’ve seen the trailer, you’ll know
that it all appears to be very simple and straightforward. A Mexican
drug cartel boss is being moved by the FBI through Las Vegas. In a
daring and well-organised escape, he hops into a super fast car and
hauls ass for the border. With lethal driving skills and cunning
precision, our villain is not stopping and will reach the
America-Mexican border within a matter of hours. As the FBI track
him, they determine he will try and pass through the town of
Sommerton Junction on the Arizona-Mexico border. This small, sleepy
town is patrolled by an ageing sheriff and his three deputies. Our
sheriff just so happens to be Arnie’s character, Ray Owens. A
former Los Angeles narcotics officer, Owens enjoys his twilight years
in Sommerton trying to forget what he has seen in the line of duty.
Nothing much happens in his town, and that’s the way he likes it.
His only concern is when a waitress at the local diner wakes him up
with a phone call at four in the morning, informing him the milk
hasn’t been delivered. Not a huge concern by any means, but
Sherriff Owens checks it out, and surprisingly the missing milk is
the result of a bigger problem. Our villain’s henchmen are setting
things up, so their boss can move through the town quickly and
without any problems. But when Owen’s and his deputies run into the
bad guys, the Sherriff makes it clear… that guy won’t be coming
through his town, without a fight! And so the stage is set for a
good, old fashioned “shoot-em-up” showdown.
When Arnie was
headlining action films in the 80’s and 90’s, his movies were
often the trend setters. Some of his best, including “Predator”,
“Terminator 2: Judgement Day” and “Trues Lies” broke the
mould and set the rules for others to follow. The Last Stand does not
try to reinvent the wheel, but it does often blow it up! The action
is hard, fast and bloody. In a throwback to movies like Dirty Harry
and Commando, Arnie shoots and drives his way through several bad
guys and extra attention is given to bullets as they enter bodies and
heads, spraying blood all over the place. Sometimes it’s so
violent, it’s often funny. This is helped by Jonny Knoxville, who
stays close to his Jackass roots. As the provider of the weapons
which will hold the town in place later in the film, Knoxville’s
character is the comic relief, reminding the audience not take the
whole situation of the film too seriously, as Knoxville sure doesn’t.
Will you enjoy “The
Last Stand”? That depends on a few things. Do you like Arnold
Schwarzenegger, and see him for the iconic action move hero he was
and still is? Or, do you enjoy walking into a theatre, switching off
the brain and being entertained by a well-made and surprisingly well
acted action film? If you’re answer to both these questions is no,
then keep away. If you’re answer is yes, they you won’t be
disappointed. And for all the Arnie fans out there, you might be
asking if Schwarzenegger is indeed back again? Well, if he keeps
playing characters that resemble his age, who are not ashamed of
their wrinkles and shrunken muscles… then Arnold Schwarzenegger
will still be around, making action movies for a while to come yet.
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