The Twilight Saga


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 A Grown Man's thoughts on the "Twilight" movies... yes, I have watched them. Please don't think less of me :-) 

When the first Twilight film was released in late 2008, there was a lot of early buzz about it. I’d never heard of the book series, and being a 26 year old guy at the time, why would I have? But my co-worker, a young guy of 20 or so was reading the book as his girlfriend said he would be accompanying her to the film. Poor guy. But at work, he read the book vivaciously and gave me a review upon completing it. He liked it to a degree, and went to see the film shortly after. His response to the flick was that it was okay. 

Then as we all saw, Robert Pattinson became an overnight star winning the hearts of teenage girls the world over. When it was first announced he would be playing Edward Cullen in the film adaptation of Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight, fans of the novel were not happy. Who was this nerdy looking British guy they all asked? It’s amazing what a convincing accent, some make up and clever lighting can do to make anyone look great. It worked in Pattinson's case, and he hit the stratosphere of fame and stardom not seen since the likes of Leonardo DiCaprio in his Titanic days. 

As the first film was a major hit, the second book was adapted and quickly went into production. It was just as big, and introduced the world to Taylor Lautner, or Jacob Black as he is better known; the buff, good looking young guy who turns into a werewolf and catches the eye of Bella, while Edward buggers off after he feels guilty for her getting hurt. The second film won the hearts and eyes of girls over all over again, but not because of Edward. He was barely on screen, allowing his muscular counter-part to steal the screen and show of his abs. And hence, two unique institutions were created based on who you preferred; Team Edward or Team Jacob. I would go onto choose another – Team Bella’s Dad. I like that character; he keeps his cool as the Sherriff of a town that has had its fare share of mysterious deaths and patiently supports his daughter even as she plays with the desires of not one, but two young guys. And he doesn't once pull out his shot gun when the guys are around. That takes real character! 

I observed the mania and pandemonium these films had on girls all over the world, thinking how ridiculous it all was. In reaction to that, I vowed never to watch the Twilight movies. No way, no chance. Grown men don’t watch these films. These films are not made for grown men. They are made for teenage girls and teenage girls alone. 

The third film hit screens no less than 18 months after the first movie. The filmmakers were really rushing into getting these films made and cashing in on the hype and youthful looks of their three leads, before they got, you know... older looking. I heard murmurs that Eclipse was the best film of the series and won over some new fans. It was apparently more action packed and not as corny and mushy as the previous two instalments. Shortly after this film entered theatres and made another bundle of cash, it was announced the last book in the series would be split into two films. How clever! Doing a Harry Potter were you Twilight? Two more films meant twice as much money to be made and the opportunity to not leave anything out of the last book. It worked for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, so would it work for Breaking Dawn?

The first installment of the last book hit cinemas in late 2011, and once again the girls went crazy. To date, it is the highest grossing of all the films and portrayed the marriage and honeymoon of Bella and Edward as well as the arrival of little bubs. What will Part 2 reveal? I've got no bloody idea because I haven’t read the books. But so far, I've watched the first four films which makes me pretty in tune with the Twilight Universe. 

Now before you ask, I didn't sink as low as to go to the movies to see them. I wouldn't attend the theatre to see a Twilight film on my own, as that would just look strange. If I asked a mate, they would either point at me and laugh or cease to be my friend anymore. So I did the next best thing. I hired out the DVD’s. 

When I had some spare time in early 2011, I went down to the video store to hire some weekly DVD’s. I thought I would give the first Twilight film a go, just to see what all the fuss was about. Strategically, I made sure to hire four other movies that fit the bill of a man’s film; two action films and two horror films. I put the Twilight DVD somewhere in the middle, and even had a response prepared in case the young guy behind the counter asked me why I was hiring it. “It’s for my partner” I would say if required “You know how the girls are about those bloody Twilight movies?” Genius. But luckily, the video store clerk didn’t judge my selection and scanned the DVD along with the others. I went home and prepared to watch it. As if I were about to do something illegal, I locked the door, closed the blinds and had my laptop turned on and within reach in case my partner came home and caught me “in the act” so to speak. I was watching a movie I vowed never to watch, yes, but I wasn’t going to advertise to anyone that I was watching it. As the film started and the story was unveiled, to my own surprise, I actually kind of enjoyed Twilight. I like most movies or TV shows that depict vampires, and this one threw a new twist onto the old folklore. The film was well made and atmospheric, but my main objection was the quality of the acting and the terrible dialogue. 

 The following week, the weather was bad and I was too broke to do anything exciting, so I hired another five weekly DVD’s to pass the time. Having been slightly won over by Twilight, I thought I would give New Moon a shot. Again, I waited until the coast was clear and my partner was not home. She wouldn’t be home for all of that day, so I didn’t have to have my laptop on hand to quickly switch to and pretend to be using instead of watching a Twilight film. I was let down by the second film. Watching Taylor Lautner occupy far too much screen time with his wooden acting and corny dialogue was a bit of a slog. Personally, I’m a Team Edward kind of guy; he’s just a more interesting character. New Moon was like watching an over-long music video to some alternative rock song. It got better towards the end, when we are introduced to the Volturi, but overall, I thought the film sucked. 

I decided to have a break from all things Twilight for a little while, so I could get back in touch with my manhood. A few weeks later I was house sitting for my sister and spent a night there. She has one of those boxes which have like a thousand downloaded movies on it, and I scrolled through them to pick out a movie or two to watch that night. And guess what was on there? Eclipse! But not the first two films oddly enough. Recalling the reviews and general response I’d heard about the third film last year (saying it was better, had more action, less corny dialogue, etc) I let curiosity get the better of me and settled down that night with a pizza and a few beers to watch Eclipse. 

 Call me crazy, but I consider the third entry in the Twilight Saga to be a decent film. If you’re not familiar with the plot, Edward returns to Bella’s side where they spend a lot of time making out and gazing adoringly into each other’s eyes. Jacob is still around and hot for Bella, but she just wants to be friends. This is after she thought she was in love with him in part 2. Confusing right? Women! An interesting side story develops throughout the film, involving a new breed of vampires running amok in Seattle, drawing too much attention to vampires from the human world and requiring the Volturi to make an appearance and restore the balance. Word reaches Fawkes (the town where the movies are primarily set) that these new types of blood suckers are on their way to kill none other than Bella. Why does this girl get so much attention? I haven’t figured that out yet. The stage is then set for a huge battle between the new vampires and the Cullen family of vampires, who must rely on the assistance of Jacob and his fellow pack of werewolves. This scene was the highlight of the film, as a well made full-on brawl in the woods, where over sized dogs and Emo-looking vampires smash the crap out of each other. By the end, peace is restored again and Bella and Edward continue to make out and be happy. 

Given that I watched the first three films after the release of Breaking Dawn Part 1, I didn’t get the chance to see it in cinemas. Nor was I intending to anyway. I had to keep my dirty little secret that I had become a Twilight fan in spite of myself. So just the other night, a couple of weeks after it was released onto DVD, I rented BDP1. To be discreet about it once more, I rented the film from one of those green Oovie DVD machines. I watched it on my laptop in the study, telling my wife I was doing “homework” (I study online at the moment). My expectations for this instalment weren’t high as I had read a few reviews and knew it was centred on the wedding of Bella to Edward, their honeymoon in Brazil and the little bundle of joy (or pain rather) they created while away. Bella becoming pregnant with Edwards seed creates problems for her, affecting her health and sanity. And the werewolves aren’t happy, as they follow their laws and vow to destroy any new, unholy vampires that come into town. But Jacob, still obsessed with Bella even though she’s now a married woman, intervenes and she and her baby are spared a violent death. This is where BDP1 ends, revealing that Bella has now become a vampire, as she had intended to do once her and Ed were married. 

Come this November, the last movie in the series will be released. The hype over that will be just as big, if not bigger than the previous films as a generation’s fascination with vampires, werewolves and teenage romance comes to an end. Will I be at the theatre to see how it all ends? Probably not, but since I’ve come this far and watched the first four films, I will probably hire out the last one when it comes to DVD. But now the secrets out, and you know I’ve been watching these movies. I ask that you not hunt me down (guys) and beat the crap out of me. I will watch the final film, because I sort of need my closure okay? It’s not my fault. I’ve been brainwashed by Hollywood to want to follow these characters to the end and find out what happens to Bella, Edward and Jacob. My argument to that is I consider myself something of a movie critic. If those guys will watch these films and write about them, why can’t I? I’m not getting paid to do it and will have to live with the shame of having watched the Twilight films, but hey, I can deal with that. Can you?
 
So here we are. The second part of Breaking Dawn. The conclusion to the saga. The end of a phenomenon. Recently released to DVD, “Breaking Dawn Part 2” is the action-packed send off to the teen-romance/vampire franchise which populated movie theatres and DVD shelves for the past four years. I never originally intended to watch these films, but curiosity got the better of me – and I’m a film reviewer so it was strictly for research purposes okay? Have I enjoyed them? Not particularly. I mean lets face it, they are very easy movies to watch. The story is somewhat intriguing and imaginative but the acting is a bit wooden, the dialogue is horribly cheesy and the romance between Bella and Edward borderlines on fantasy and delusion.

You would do best to watch all the films, and in order, before taking on this last instalment. There is a long-running story through the series, which starts with Twilight and is wrapped up at the end of Breaking Dawn Part 2.

Either you’re a Twilight fan or you’re not, there is no between. I guess that’s the way with all franchises when you think about it. Some people hate the Harry Potter films, I enjoy them. Others dislike Star Trek, I love it… come to think of it, there aren’t many films or franchises I don’t like, and even when they’re bad I will still find something I like about them. So did I find something I liked about this film? The climatic battle between the Cullen family of vampires, their friends and the werewolves versus the Volturi was enjoyable to watch. It was well-staged and exciting in parts. And for me, that’s the only thing that saved the Twilight films from being completely unwatchable – the action.

The concept of vampires, and to a lesser extent werewolves, has always been a fascination to me. Vampires have remained a constant in films almost since movies began. They way they’ve been portrayed over the years has certainly changed, and that boils down to a new movie coming along that offers a new spin on the breed of bloodsuckers. In the early days, it was the “Dracula” styled vampire; a reclusive, sophisticated and stylish man with a French accent donning the cape and greased-back hair, who slept in a coffin and lived in a castle. This representation continued for many years, up until about the 80’s. in this decade, films such as “Fright Night” made vampires look like they could be your next door neighbour, and it that film he was. He blended into the background, moving along unnoticed and could easily fool his prey that he was normal. In the 90’s, the focus of vampires resorted to their more monster-based and animalistic side, with the likes of “From Dusk Till Dawn”. In that film, vampires appeared normal at first, but when their thirst for blood surfaced, they automatically turned into vicious and ravenous freaks. This continued on with the “Blade” franchise, but that also introduced vampires who were cool, intelligent and very 21st century.

Then in 2008, vampires went to the teenagers, taking the much maligned Emo/Goth look that was becoming increasingly popular, as well as the permanent look of angst sombreness seen amongst suburban adolescence. It was like these youth’s were always depressed, and for what reason? But it went down a treat, appealing to every teenage girl in the world; the dark, lonely and mysterious looking boy that sat next to them in class could be a vampire – but not the type who would sleep in coffins, try to trick them or become a monster – but rather, a softly-spoken, sensitive and romantic individual. And how was he different from most guys his age? Well he appeared to be 17, but was in fact over a hundred years old meaning he was much more mature that most teenage boys. Given this extended life period, this vampire was searching for true love and found it in Bella. This spoke to the dreams and fantasies of teenage girls everywhere – that a good looking boy, mature beyond his years and sensitive to the needs of a female would be unconditionally and inextricably in love with her no matter what – forever. Hang on? Are we still talking about a vampire movie here? WTF happened? Stephanie Meyer happened, that’s what. This little known author offered her take on the vampire legacy in the form of four novels, which became five films which have now generated XXX in ticket sales.

Now that the Twilight series has come and gone, where to for vampires now? Will it be a return to their roots with the re-introduction of Dracula? Or could we see a completely different take on the walking dead? Who knows? But I think it’s safe to say the teenage vampire portrayal of the Twilight Saga has had its day, and unless you’re a die hard fan, you’ll be pleased about that. I’m not really any better off for having watched the films, and I still struggle to determine why they were so fricken popular? Watching the movies has left me somewhat jaded and I’d like to get my 10 hours back! 


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