Beavis & Butt-Head Do America

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 Like any other kid, I watched a lot of cartoons. Some of my personal favourites were “Captain Planet and The Planeteers” or “Widget” and both of these played on ABC’s The Afternoon Show from 4pm to 5pm, which I would watch religiously everyday after school. Of course, I was also a child of “The Simpson’s” and can attribute that stroke-of-genius show as the basis of my entire sense of humour. But as I became a teenager, I was looking for something a little more risqué so to speak. I’d outgrown those cartoons about the environment (but look back on them fondly) and although I loved The Simpson’s, it didn’t always push the envelope as much as I would like it to. So, where would a teenage by who still wants to watch cartoons turn to for his fix of vulgar humour and references to boobs? “Southpark” was still two years away (which I never got into anyway) so what would suffice? Why, Beavis and Butt-Head of course.

Beavis and Butt-Head defined television for the MTV Generation of the early to mid-nineties. The adventures of two pubescent, hormonally-charged teens, who attend school when they feel like it, live in a dodgy apartment and spend most of their time watching music videos on MTV, and offering their commentary on them. Not smart writing or well-developed characters, but who cared? I didn’t and neither did millions of other teenage boys who saw a little bit of themselves in these characters.

Making the leap from the small to big screen, the no-brained duo had to travel farther then their own suburb of Highland, New Jersey to find their stolen TV set. They would have to travel across the country! And my introduction to these idiots was not on their show of four years, but in the movie, which ended the TV show’s run. I would then work my way backwards through all four seasons of the show to experience the full Beavis and Butt-Head legend, if I can call it that..?

Sure, there’s not much character development going on here. These two dimwits are about as sharp as a spoon, but they had a certain appeal. Their only mission in life, besides watching TV, was to Score! So hard they tried to hit it off with some hot chick, but it never worked out. Their over-eagerness or stupidity would get in their way of their sexual pursuits. Besides all their pitfalls, setbacks and stuff-ups, Beavis and Butt-Head would always find a laugh in any situation. In fact, they would sound their trademark laughs more often then they spoke. Butt-Head’s “Huh-huh, huh-huh” and Beavis’s “Heh-heh-heh-heh” with their gravely, coarse voices and the same dopey expressions on their faces became their calling card. As well as many other coined phrases, especially when Beavis had too much sugar, coffee, soda or prescription medication, and lose control, turning into “Cornholio”; an erratic, incomprehensible spaz, pulling his t-shirt over his head, raising his arms in the air like a mad dictator and go searching for some Tepee for his Bunghole! Whatever the hell that was. No one really knew, but you didn’t care because any time spent watching these two, instantly made you feel more intelligent and successful in life because these guys were such stupid losers. But they were our losers. And we loved them. They made me feel smart! 

In their first big movie, Beavis and Butt-Head awake in their apartment one afternoon to discover their beloved TV set missing. The clues are right in front of their face; a broken window, a crowbar, footprints on the ground leading from the window to the TV unit and out the front door, but they still couldn’t figure out how their TV was taken from them. Dumbasses! 

On their search for a new set so they won’t miss “Baywatch” the duo come across a seedy motel and meet a drunken guy called Muddy. He mistakes them for thugs for hire and charges them with the special mission of doing his wife for $10,000. We the audience with intelligence know he means to have her whacked, but our beloved bozos mistake that order for scoring with her, and are amazed when this guy offers to pay them for it. Like moths to the flame, Beavis and Butt-Head willingly set off across country to find the guys wife, but when they meet her (and she’s a total babe) she sends them back, along with a stolen microchip hidden in Beavis's shorts, and their cross-country adventure begins. 

By this point, it sounds like an episode of the show which would abruptly end. But then, the story kicks into high gear, as the stakes are raised and Beavis and Butt-head become wanted fugitives by the FBI. As resourceful as those men of the law are, they miss their chance to capture the teens at every turn; not because they’re trying to escape, but because dumb luck would help them slip by undetected. The manhunt is led by a hard nosed agent, voiced to perfection by Robert Stack, who for those of you that remember the television of the 90’s, was the host of “Unsolved Mysteries”. With his deadpan stare and ever-so convincing voice that could reel you in,  he’s put to good use as the FBI agent hell-bent on giving everyone he encounters a full cavity search, assuming they’re all suspects in this nationwide crisis. 

From their humble beginnings on MTV, Beavis and Butt-Head made a great leap to the big screen. From blacking out Las Vegas, to destroying the Hoover Dam, causing the biggest freeway pile up in history and having every law enforcement agency in the land bearing down on them (without even realising it) our two loveable louts just do what they do; laugh, look stupid and never give up on their life-long quest to score with a chick. Does it finally happen in the movie? Of course not, but it’s a good laugh with a cool soundtrack thrown in for good measure. 

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